Microwave Meal Magician Pillows

'You should have read the cookery book for teenagers. It's pretty short: 'Take the food off the package before you microwave it'.'

'And bang a few pots around. I like to pretend you won't just pull it out of the freezer and throw it in the microwave.'

'I sent out for everything.'

Domestic Goddess.

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

The Witches Discover The Wok

Party time.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Stupid Microwave

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'After you with the camouflage.'

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."