Microorganism Maven Gifts

'After years of preparation, Von Ronschtat breaks the microorganism language code.'

Muscles

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Lego Haircut

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Like that?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

The sunglasses.

Carbon Dating

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

The hall of bad ideas.

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

Jerk Gene

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

Body Building Mishap

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

At the Halloween party down there, one fat molecule is dressed as an angel and another as a devil. Makes sense, there are good gars and bad fats. The antibody is wearing a cape. Everybody's been calling him a superhero so he dressed like one. That virus wasn't invited but he sneaked in dressed as the long ranger. He's always showing up where he's not wanted. The ironic thing is the virus is wearing a mask.

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'