Microwave Maven Gifts

"It's great for quesadillas."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Welcome to Margie's Microwave Cooking School! -- ZAP! Be sure to tune in at this same time tomorrow....'

"If you're too cheap to buy a new microwave, then hurry up with that so I can get dinner started."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

In the Guru District

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"National security adviser"

"And this is our media room."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Reporter #6: television.

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"A newspaper has a responsibility to ensure that its readers are fully informed."

The end is near

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'