Microorganism Maven T-Shirts

'After years of preparation, Von Ronschtat breaks the microorganism language code.'

Muscles

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Lego Haircut

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Like that?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

The sunglasses.

Carbon Dating

The hall of bad ideas.

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Jerk Gene

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

A man takes a selfie with an Egyptian mummy

Body Building Mishap

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'