Mosquito Maven T-Shirts

'I agree O-positive is rather nice, but my favourite by far is AB-negative...'

Muscles

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Save the unicorn.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

The sunglasses.

Carbon Dating

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

The hall of bad ideas.

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

Facial hair continental drift.

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

Body Building Mishap

A man takes a selfie with an Egyptian mummy

Life is ghoul

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'

"...And we ask that you please not make fun of the name."

Tunnel of Louvre

'It's the people downstairs again.'

strong man bends an iron bar