Microbrewery Explorer Gifts

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

"You order the microbrew?"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Low-Energy Drinks

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

Bottle Distillery

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'Malty tasking.'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Fount of eternal youth/brewery.

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

"So much for that vintage!"

Wine of the Day Club

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

Real Beer People