Microbrewery Gifts

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Beer Stall

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Joined at the hipster.

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Bottle Distillery

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'Malty tasking.'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

"I was wondering if you could recommend a good 'hoppy' beer?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

California Beverages Map

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

'I brew it myself.'

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

Real Beer People

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'