Microblogging Gifts

"Dear diary, I'm leaving you for a Twitter account—it's not you, it's technology..."

*Feels depressed about Twitter*

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Press Freedom

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Obsession with the Internet.

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

Multi-Tasking

Ruddy bloggers!

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Robinson Crusoe's blog.

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

"To retrieve password: Please answer your secret question, which is, 'what is your password?' hahahaha!"

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"What made you start blogging about success?"

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X