Microblogging Enthusiast Gifts

'I never realized how boring you were until I started following you on Twitter.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Digital Fomo!

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

Facebook For Dogs.

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Follow me on Twitter...

'Well what do you know---opportunity no longer knocks, she Twitters'

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."