Metric System Perfectionist Gifts

'You still don't understand the metric system do you?'

Bullseye!

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

The perfectionist.

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Perfection

"You're welcome."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

When pedants take a break.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

"There are two kinds of students: perfectionists and procrastinators."

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

"It's no use. We just can't improve on perfection."

"Our standards are so high we only hire people who do crossword puzzles in ink."

Sculptor's Attempts At Sculpting Crumpled Paper Ball End Up In Trash