Metal Music Rejector Pillows

"Sorry, I'm not into heavy metal."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Menu Dating

Motorherd

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"You mind? I'm starting a blog."

Turkey going away for Christmas.

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

'What kind of music would you like? Korean classical or Death Metal?'

Man who works at a magnet company finds his briefcase attracted to the briefcase of the man who works at the scrap metal company.

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

Devlin was concerned about his son hanging around with such a nice crowd.

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Throwing Away Music

Death Metal Nite.

Author who wants his novel pierced.

"...I think I'm beginning to regret revealing my feminine side."

Woman aims pepper spray at man who tries to kiss her using mistletoe.

At the home for old musicians

'These braces won't stand out too much, will they?'

'How elaborate. Most women who don't want to go out with me just say no.'

An elderly group of bandmates make up the bankd geriatrica.

"Awesome dood!"

'Hi, didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?'

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."