Metal Music Rejector Pillows

"Sorry, I'm not into heavy metal."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Menu Dating

Motorherd

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

Turkey going away for Christmas.

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"You mind? I'm starting a blog."

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

'What kind of music would you like? Korean classical or Death Metal?'

Man who works at a magnet company finds his briefcase attracted to the briefcase of the man who works at the scrap metal company.

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

'Darling, it's the local Satanists wondering whether they can sing us some black metal.'

Devlin was concerned about his son hanging around with such a nice crowd.

Author who wants his novel pierced.

Throwing Away Music

Death Metal Nite.

"...I think I'm beginning to regret revealing my feminine side."

At the home for old musicians

Woman aims pepper spray at man who tries to kiss her using mistletoe.

'These braces won't stand out too much, will they?'

An elderly group of bandmates make up the bankd geriatrica.

'How elaborate. Most women who don't want to go out with me just say no.'

"Awesome dood!"

"No, I don't want to do it 'neath the tree."

"Oh, crap. Another worthless scrap of tin!"