Math Rejecter Pillows

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Learning percentages has made me realize there's a 50% chance I'll flunk math."

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Cats are not as intelligent as you think.

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

'Money DOES make me happy.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

"Will you stop doing that please? Isn't it obvious to you that I just don't fancy him?!"

'In the real world there is no such thing as algebra.'

Publishing

The dog that does the homework...

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

Throwing Away Music

'I like unfunded mandates best - you don't have to worry about the math.'