Merger Survivor Gifts

'I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

In and Out Tray

"I feel your pain."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

Between Offices

"We should have taken the cubicles."

The Buck Never Stops.

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

Office Weather

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job