Merger Skeptic Gifts

"Only time will tell whether this merger makes sense or not."

The merger is off.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Studies show foods work miracles!

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

CIA report

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

Why do you hate the media?

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

Classic News.

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

Business Partners' vows

"I always cry at mergers."

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

'This has been a test. Had this been an actual corporate takeover...'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

Supermarket Merge

'The buildings are merging.'

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...