Merger Mastermind Gifts

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'You're the reason I can't charge anything for goodwill when I sell the business.'

"Send in the press, we've completed the takeover."

'Mommy, you'll never guess what. My hi-tech start-up just merged with a Fortune 500 company.'

"It turned into a hostile takeover once we saw their books."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Small child building a large contraption from junk

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Fish and color

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

wealth investment

Dept. of the Treasury

Computer operator welding machine.

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

The United States' economy deflating.

"This is super. I asked for super-duper."

Carlo Ancelotti

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

'Our problem is, we do more blamestorming than brainstorming.'

41 Rounds of Layoffs Survived

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

'It's the perfect time to move up the evolutionary ladder! The climate is stable, we have no natural predators, and interest rates may never be this low again!'

'I think I found the problem.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."