Merger Master Gifts

'As you know, some details of the new merger have yet to be resolved.'

'Every time I want to buy a company, you tell me I own it already.'

'Since your people and my people got together, they've been avoiding us.'

'Consider this an unfriendly takeover, if you wish, but takeover it is!'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

'Call out the legions. I'm in the mood for mergers.'

From Clark, Riley, Austin and Potts. To Hardman, Smith, Power, Atkins and Harris...

Fish and color

'Like I was saying, the place just hasn't been the same since the merger.'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

"I'm interested in the rarest kind of precious metals – golden parachutes."

The president's men

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"An everything Martini, please."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Traffic Management Strategic Group

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

Business Partners' vows