Merger Specialist Gifts

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Do you, Scofield Industries, take Amalgamated Pipe?"

'Consolidation is tearing us apart.'

'In tough negotiations I've found a bit of eyeliner really distracts them!'

'The negotiation is in total deadlock. It's time for the medieval option.'

Before The Merger.

'Do you have any 'hostile takeover' condolence cards?'

'My final offer.'

"Sir, the competition is here to discuss the merger."

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'It appears that Megalamp Industries, a conglomerate, wants to take over our family.'

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Fish and color

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."