Merger And Acquisition Consultant Gifts

'We feel it's rather presumptuous of you to think mergers apply only to life on earth!'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

Fish and color

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

Takeovers.

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"Benign so far."

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

Business Partners' vows

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

"I always cry at mergers."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

'There's enough of us...we can take them!'

'A merger will enable us to have more people to blame.'

Supermarket Merge

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.