Mergers And Acquisitions Advisor Gifts

"I don't want them to sniff out our hostile takeover plans. Maybe we should stop wearing our power ties on Casual Friday."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

Fish and color

Takeovers.

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Standard & Poor

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

Canine Comedians

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

Business Partners' vows

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

"I always cry at mergers."

'There's enough of us...we can take them!'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

Supermarket Merge

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

For sale