Menu Wizard T-Shirts

'If you're asking me, I'd recommend the perfect peppered steak from the resturant next door!'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Fast Food Menu Selections

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"....and hold the garlic."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee Menu

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

'Whatever he's eating.'