Menu Maze Navigators T-Shirts

"... Or, if you're still listening to all of these automated options and we can't put you off making this call, press 9."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Coffee

The Corporate Rat.

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee Menu

'Whatever he's eating.'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Heart Disease Menu

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."