Menu Maze Navigators T-Shirts

"... Or, if you're still listening to all of these automated options and we can't put you off making this call, press 9."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

The Corporate Rat.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

Coffee

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee Menu

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

Heart Disease Menu

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'