Menu Poet Gifts

"The menu simply says 'Fried Fish.' I'm waiting for you to provide the lyrical description."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Party time.

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

What's the insect de jour?

A menu with risks and benefits

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

Arabic Thief Salad - lashings of whipped cream...

Try our frogs' legs

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

Punkcakes

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."