Menu Musings Master Gifts

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Kitchen Kapers

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Party time.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'How is the water prepared?'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

'What'll it be?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

National Coffee Day

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'