Menu Musings Gifts

"What's your surf and turf today?"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'How is the water prepared?'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

'One businessman's lunch and one lackey's lunch.'

"Haven't you got anything that hasn't been regurgitated?"

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

Biden Workload

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

Deli Special - 2 bean salad: 'We ran out of red beans.'

"The specials I didn't order sound so much better when you describe them to other people."

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

'As you requested, we trimmed the fat.'

"Mom, Dad, can we stop reading the reviews, I'm hungry!"