Menu Mischief Gifts

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

Kitchen Kapers

Party time.

'How is the water prepared?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'I could have sworn it was the cavalry!!'

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

'You still have breakfast and lunch on your dinner menu.'

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

"I'll call you back. I'm in a meeting."

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

Le Bolshie Chef.

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"

"I'm not a rule breaker, but the no eye blinking is going to be a tough one."