Culinary Mischief Enthusiast Gifts

The Toast Hunter

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Cafe Burns.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

It's all gravy.

'You made me jump.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Cooking With Pollock.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

Salvador Deli

"Rare, medium or well done?"

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

Out and In.

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

'Gee, mom, how DID that happen? Maybe we better Google it!'

'I told you we shouldn't have brought him.'

"Is that your answer for everything...fold in a stick of butter?"

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

Chef chasing an egg.