Culinary Mischief Maker Gifts

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Newt sale

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

Oh no ... Outsourcing

"Gesundheit!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Occupational Hazards.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Department of Foreign Affairs Foreign Affairs staff and their Mistresses from various parts of the World,having some fun in the office, witnessed by a stunned member of the public.

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

The invisible man makes a pancake

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

Timpani for the devil

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

Mozart swimming.

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'You still have breakfast and lunch on your dinner menu.'

"It's festive. But I think it means no candy."