Mental Math Master T-Shirts

Mensa Login Security

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

Man and brain

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

"Lucky Guess."

He tried to be positive, no matter the atmosphere.

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"I think I've finally figured out who's on first."

A gorilla at a cocktail party thinking to himself "Fake it 'til make it".

IRS tax instructions.

Trojan Chess

How to get ahead and how to get further ahead.

"Can you give us another formula? We aired this visual yesterday."

John von Neumann, after completing his book. 'Theory of Self-Replicating Automata'.

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

'I'm a billionaire, but I think like a millionaire.'

Three-eyed man beats three card monte game.

'How would you describe yourself?'

Career coaching at a yoga studio

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

'The only reason I'm having Cindy do my homework, Dad, is that you always say a good manager knows how to delegate work.'

Consternation/Control

'How long have you had this need to be in control?'

"How long have you been delusional?"

The war against ignorance

The Reverse Psychologist

'We have to shorten all depot platforms, we misconvernted inches into centimeters and designed the train too wide.'