Mental Math Master Pillows

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"Is it that bad?"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

Man and brain

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

"Lucky Guess."

He tried to be positive, no matter the atmosphere.

A gorilla at a cocktail party thinking to himself "Fake it 'til make it".

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"I think I've finally figured out who's on first."

IRS tax instructions.

We've been together so long, we can finish each other's texts.

Let's try some word disassociation

Trojan Chess

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

John von Neumann, after completing his book. 'Theory of Self-Replicating Automata'.

"Can you give us another formula? We aired this visual yesterday."

'I'm a billionaire, but I think like a millionaire.'

How to get ahead and how to get further ahead.

Derren Brown

Three-eyed man beats three card monte game.

'How would you describe yourself?'

Career coaching at a yoga studio

I'd say you've got assertivity issues

Consternation/Control

Eye Doctors. Sport Psychologists. Reception. Which focus group are you here for today?

'The only reason I'm having Cindy do my homework, Dad, is that you always say a good manager knows how to delegate work.'

'How long have you had this need to be in control?'

The war against ignorance

"How long have you been delusional?"

'Another confabulous breakthrough, professor.'

'We have to shorten all depot platforms, we misconvernted inches into centimeters and designed the train too wide.'