Menstruation Humorist Gifts

Ovary Action...

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

Maternity Ward

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

Fertility Clinic

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

Maternity ward on the farm.

'Which one is yours?'

"Hard to tell...He was wearing a mask."

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"I told you I was too old to have a baby."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

The baby's really been moving round today.

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'