Mensa Member Wannabe Gifts

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'... And as soon as I get out of here, I'm going back to that karate school to demand a full refund!'

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Make it look like natural selection."

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"We ask that bail be set at $1,000. The defendant poses a significant flight risk."

"You should know by now, nobody puts the bite on me and gets away with it!"

"I'm very touched, fellows."

"You pay your late fines or Babar breaks your pinkie."

"Mister, that door opens inward, no out."

'I don't care what is politically correct... hench person just doesn't sound right.'

"Listen, buddy, you'll start talkin' when Jimmy The Hand gets a hold of ya."

"I don't know, boss. I assumed 'Sammy The Seal' was like a nickname or something."

"I think you are getting carried away, all you've done is finish one crossword."

Ahmadinejad talking peace.

This club is for members only

Obama-Middle East.

"I think it's time Mario stopped delivering the kiss of death."

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

"I like living in the past. It makes me think I know where I'm going."

'Don't worry about my husband. He's never home early since he started working for the mafia.'

A hitman sitting next to a fishbowl with a model of a drowned man

"You wouldn't like Peanuts when he's angry."