Future Adult Club Member Gifts

"...And when you turn eighteen, you go over to the dark side, like Mom and Dad."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

La Table

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'At first his nose ring irritated me, but then I made him tie a string to it. Now I can lead him around.'

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Men drinking

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

Hello, auto club? I have an emergency. What's happened, sir? Ever since I upgraded to iOS 8, my iPhone hasn't been syncing with my car stereo over bluetooth. I don't feel comfortable driving without being able to hear my "driving" playlist. How long till you get here? Sir, we're going to have to revoke your membership.

'Good news dear you have finally been accepted as a member of 'The explorer's club!'

'Be wormier!'

Three juniors want to join our eco club. Good recruiting! No way I'm letting them in! What?! Be we need new members! Not necessarily! Gore lies. Global warming is hot air! I (heart) fur.

Members only.

Botanical Gardens - Our Weeding Group Meets Mondays 3pm.

Age 15 vs Age 35

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

"Well, looks like his teenage years might be over: he's cleaning his room..."

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"Seats two comfortably. Three if your kinky."

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."