Mensa Member Wannabe Mugs

Your IQ is 176, Peel. - 'Is that high?' - 'That's higher than Stephen Hawking.' - 'Wow!' - 'Maybe you'll be a great physicist one day.' - 'Will I shrivel, too?' -

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

Middle East Peace Process.

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

'... And as soon as I get out of here, I'm going back to that karate school to demand a full refund!'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

"Make it look like natural selection."

"...And when you turn eighteen, you go over to the dark side, like Mom and Dad."

'Hi. I'm Don.'

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

"We ask that bail be set at $1,000. The defendant poses a significant flight risk."

"You should know by now, nobody puts the bite on me and gets away with it!"

"I'm very touched, fellows."

"You pay your late fines or Babar breaks your pinkie."

"I think you are getting carried away, all you've done is finish one crossword."

'I don't care what is politically correct... hench person just doesn't sound right.'

"I don't know, boss. I assumed 'Sammy The Seal' was like a nickname or something."

Obama-Middle East.

Ahmadinejad talking peace.

"Listen, buddy, you'll start talkin' when Jimmy The Hand gets a hold of ya."

"I think it's time Mario stopped delivering the kiss of death."

This club is for members only

"Mister, that door opens inward, no out."

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

"I like living in the past. It makes me think I know where I'm going."

'Don't worry about my husband. He's never home early since he started working for the mafia.'

"You wouldn't like Peanuts when he's angry."