Mensa Enthusiast Gifts

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Clandestine cows.

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

Bureau of Missing Persons

'Say, please.'

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

Dignity and Impudence.

Bookworm Romance

Artists draw speed lines next to their car.

'That's what I call a perfect cover for your Australian assignment, 007'

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

'Spider-Man does too take baths!'

'EEEEEHA!!' 'WHISKEY!' 'What's the magic word?'