Mensa Enthusiast Pillows

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

Clandestine cows.

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

Bureau of Missing Persons

'Say, please.'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

Bookworm Romance

Dignity and Impudence.

'That's what I call a perfect cover for your Australian assignment, 007'

Artists draw speed lines next to their car.

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

'EEEEEHA!!' 'WHISKEY!' 'What's the magic word?'

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."