Mensa Members Pillows

'Mensa smoking club'

No Elgar!

Orchestra.

Taking a peek at the audience

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Occupational Hazards.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Violin family at Christmas

Team Flute

Pianist carrying his instrument.

Team Cello

'Fancy a swift half?'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

No Bruch!

Violinist.

Wiz Fipple and his Circadian Rhythms.

'...and on Bass...'

Man blows horn and bubbles come out.

'Yup, cannon in D.'

Musician Sneezing Musical Notes

"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

"The guy's a natural!"

Musical Note Nail

Remote work

"Rehearsal's off! Our first violinist was apprehended early this morning poaching clams in Great South Bay! The authorities have confiscated her rake and long tongs!"

Lord of the Strings.

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

Over Zealous French Horn Player

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."