Mensa Aspirant Pillows

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

Mensa Cat

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

What else is there to wish for?

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

A girl climbs a ladder of books

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"You got 136? It says here you're genius if you get a 132."

Cross Channel Leap

Good parenting.

"Well, I think it's good that he wants to go to university."

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"

"I think you are getting carried away, all you've done is finish one crossword."

"Mister, that door opens inward, no out."

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

"Great, just my luck."

Do something that takes your mind off smoking.

'Still polishing it? You're just too good to be true. What do you do with the brownie points up here?'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'Mensa smoking club'

"I'm kind of considered the Jimmy Page of the clarinet world."

"The board is confident he'll grow into the job."

"Papi, I'm planning my future. How much money do you have in my college fund?"

"It's the ultimate in smart phones. It's the Mensa phone."

"Part of the old boy network?"