Mensa Hopeful Gifts

"I think you are getting carried away, all you've done is finish one crossword."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Complete Makeover

Fenwick, while I'm away I'm putting you in charge of the plant.

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

The handstand enthusiast with no sense of balance

The not-so-living wall

For the new gardener.

'I'd like to be all I can be!' - Recruitment Centre

"Mister, that door opens inward, no out."

Your IQ is 176, Peel. - 'Is that high?' - 'That's higher than Stephen Hawking.' - 'Wow!' - 'Maybe you'll be a great physicist one day.' - 'Will I shrivel, too?' -

"I'm bored!"

Gag t-shirt for Mensa members.

Myra's Little Garden

"Would a beard make me look more academic?"

Max was convinced that even though he'd been a bad boy...Santa would still bring him a present.

Mensa Cat

'Mensa smoking club'

"It's nice you want to spend more time with the family, but the kids grew up and left home years ago."

Joe Snook, D.I.Y enthusiast, lived here.

'No, I still haven't gotten around to making my 'to-do' list yet. . .'

'I'm your best friend, so I'll be honest-- do yourself a favor and take up ping-pong.'

"There are three types of people, son. Winners, losers, and tech support."

"It's the ultimate in smart phones. It's the Mensa phone."

'He's busy fantasizing being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.'

"Yeahh!! - My IQ test came back negative!"

"Mensa group? I thought this was the menses group. That's just great. You people, don't talk to me!"