Memory Sharing Pillows

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

What's your earliest memory, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I was five years old. An alien crash-landed and I found it hiding in my closet. I befriended it and taught it to have fun. But eventually it got sick, and the government stepped in. That's when I helped the alien make its escape and reunited it with its parents. That sounds awfully familiar, Randy. I was a child. When some writer offered to option the story in return for a pack of Bubblicious, I thought it was a good deal.

I used to swing from chandeliers. Now I move as quickly as possible from restroom to restroom.

I know it's past seven o'clock, but do you mind if I recall a pleasant memory? I promise not to share it with the other customers.

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Historical memory is on life support.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Multi-Generational Books

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

Where was I?

Love is when you watch television together.

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"I cross the road to forget."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"We fell for this last time remember..."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)