Memory Monger Gifts

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

"I don't know who you are!"

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"How can anyone remember Cheech and not remember Chong?"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'

Animal and Human Memory

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

"So you packed everything everything but the tent!"

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."