Memory Lapse Memer Pillows

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

The Web is mightier than the sword.

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

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'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

'Has Eric been in.' 'Was I with him?.'

'DO me a favor. Don't keep saying 'Hi. How's it going?' whenever you swim past me.'

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

Chatterbox Monkey

'There have been some mutterings that the partnership council is just window dressing...'

'The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious yawning.'