Memory Lapse Fan Pillows

My name's Bill, and I'm forgetful. Hi, Carl! Forgetful Folks Support Group.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

Lumberjack's Epic Fail

"Oh, nuts – I forgot why I came out here."

'Has Eric been in.' 'Was I with him?.'

"Refresh my memory, Miss Lockland. Who am I?"

'DO me a favor. Don't keep saying 'Hi. How's it going?' whenever you swim past me.'

Memory School.

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

"I'm sure we've met before... don't tell me your name... don't tell me..."

Look, Mom! He dropped this! He must be just like me, always coming home with just one mitten!

"You know you can't see her."

"My memory is awful, so stop me if I've told this one before."

'Memorise this, then destroy it'

Memory Lane

"Oh my God, we forgot to bring the animals."

Animal Crackers. It says, "Expiration date: Cats - Oct., 2017. Dogs - April, 2019. Tortoises - Jan., 2070".

"There it goes again. That dang phone's here someplace..."

'Amnesia! What makes you think that, Doctor?'

'Larry, you forgot the groceries list.'

"Amnesia! That's the word I was trying to remember."

"I was going to do something. What the hell was it?"

'Now why did I come in here?'

'The secret to my longevity? Lying about my age, of course!'

"I can't believe it! Someone stole my stupid car!"

'I forgot to warn you they got wicker chairs.'

"I didn't know the invisible man came from here!"

'Hello Stranger'

Short Term Memory Clinic - 'Shoot, what did I come in here for?'

"Shoot - I've forgotten my pin...Of course! It's the same as my wife's birthday!"