Memory Joke Fan Pillows

"I'm sure we've met before... don't tell me your name... don't tell me..."

Shampoo.

Cat with Nine Still Lives

Dog forced to return bone

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

'He finds it easier to fire people this way.'

Count Flatula

'The good news is that you look good. The bad news is that you're not as good as you look.'

'Is the dead mouse played with before it's prepared?'

'Will the results of this probe be sent to my gastroenterologist?'

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

'We don't bond any more.'

"The genetically modified corn wants us to knock it off with the crop circles."

Despite their efforts to be credible, the pro-dad group did nothing but raise a stink.

Feed a clod, starve a feeble...

21 Bun Salute.

Osteoporosis Clinic

'You've got termites.'

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

"I drink to forget."

Cow blowing bubbles from both ends.

"REALLY?!!!"

Top 10 signs you're getting older...

"You're distant today..."

Spring Ambushed

'But you told me to work eight hours, play eight hours and sleep eight hours. But not the same eight hours.'

Pirate with VR parrot.

"Yeah, you're right: we can't shake them off! Wherever we go, the Indian tribe follows..."

'Good morning boys and girls. Today's lesson is 'running'...sounds simple, but humans make it much more complicated!'

'I just has a deja-moo!'

Clancy: Advice for a Bad Memory

"My doctor just told me to lose 30 pounds. Rufus, Teeny...you're fired."

'What do you mean, you forgot our anniversary?'

'Disorganized Crime.'