Practical Joke Fan Pillows

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Shampoo.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"Eat me"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Candid Camera store.

Cat with Nine Still Lives

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Amateurs."

Higher wisdom...

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Clown Wife

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

"So, if the Pope is pious, what kind of pie is he... apple?"

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'