Practical Joke Lover Pillows

'Goodness, Edgar! That's not the least bit funny! You scared me half to death!'

'When you can do level two safely for 20 minutes, THEN I'll let you shovel the driveway.'

'$47.50 to find out it wasn't plugged in!!'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'The first thing you should know is that if I tie a scarf to the doorknob, that means it's cold outside, and you should probably wear a scarf.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"The hyenas started it."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Eat me"

Candid Camera store.

Doggone

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Your lobster was off!

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Clown's Comedy Fart.

Vegetarian Birds

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'