Practical Jokester Pillows

'Whatever you do, don't offer an extended warranty on that nose-hair trimmer.'

'Backseat folds out to a bed in case you run out of gas on the way home.'

'Here's an idea. Instead of borrowing money from me to buy sunglasses, why don't you just turn your hat around?'

'George, why don't you break down and buy a electric fence tester.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Mavis hated how Arthur always bought 'practical' birthday presents"

That's very thoughtful of you - a check for five gallons of gas.

'Designer zip lock bags. They're all the rage for stay-at-home-dads.'

'Try not to be an idiot.'

'I tell you my wife wants to kill me! She gave me thermal underwear for Christmas!'

Skeleton at the End of Hop-Scotch.

Junk Mail Shredder.

"Hey. When he wakes up, how 'bout I talk but you make the faces."

Successful Re-Gifting is an Art

Man in boat plays 'Jaws' theme to frighten swimmers.

Tree Thief

'I've tried to warn you Ellsworth, never turn your back on those creatures.'

'You remember my shockproof, rustproof, waterproof, dustproof watch? Well, I lost it.'

'How come you never carry the money clip I got you for your birthday?' 'The quarters keep falling out.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Interrupted Shower.

'...a word, Cosgrove!!'

'Go ahead -- pull Oog's finger!'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Kick me! / Don't kick me!

Jill and Ted fought to the point of complete exhaustion over the placement of, ironically, a wedding gift.

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Nasty surprise.

What Is This Crap?

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

'It's standard procedure. Your rates will come down after a few years in the risk pool.'

Lawyer practical joke: 'Disbar Me!'

Boy tricking the nurse

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

Crafty MR. Tramp clears the beach for fellow partygoers...

"You claimed I was getting on your last nerve. Having only one nerve left sounds serious, so I called an ambulance."