Practical Joke Aficionado Pillows

Empty Purses

"Jenkins, could you call Finance and tell them that the American deal is going ahead? Also, could you contact tech support and tell them that I've glued my finger to the intercom again?"

"Why do they do that?"

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

What's normal?

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Eat me"

Clown's Comedy Fart.

Candid Camera store.

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Amateurs."

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Higher wisdom...

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Clown Wife

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

"So, if the Pope is pious, what kind of pie is he... apple?"

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"