Practical Joke Lover Gifts

'$47.50 to find out it wasn't plugged in!!'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'The first thing you should know is that if I tie a scarf to the doorknob, that means it's cold outside, and you should probably wear a scarf.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

Doggone

Candid Camera store.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Eat me"

Your lobster was off!

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

Vegetarian Birds

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'