Millennium Memer Pillows

Millenium bug

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

Text Culture

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

The Web is mightier than the sword.

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

Accept cookies?

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords