Memory Improvement Gifts

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

How Not to Remember Names

'It tastes good and is guaranteed to improve memory, but I can't remember to take it.'

Loss of memory

"My memory's terrible these days"

'Sorry, I'm terrible with names.'

The Forgetfulness Clinic

"You signed up yesterday!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"I forgot why I came in here, but maybe I just came in here to forget."

"Yes, they are sticky notes.I like to put a few reminders up so I won't forget to workout or eat right."

Memory School.

When association-based memory techniques fail.

Memory school.

'I tied the string around my trunk to remind me to take ginko biloba for my memory.'

'And you can't remember why you tied a knot in your snake?'

'Start with 40 mg a day, and if your memory doesn't improve after two weeks, go to 80 mg a day.'

"I could swear I had something to say."

"I ordered a book on forgetfulness two weeks ago! I'd like to know where it is?"

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

"Since attending the memory clinic, I no longer lose my glasses!"

Study more to pass more tests.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

'Memory School- 51 Maple Drive - that's 51, fifty one, Maple (like tree) drive, five one fifty one maple dr. 51 Maple dr.

"I don't need to know the future. I need to know where I put my car keys."

"What's the name of the drug I've been taking to improve my memory?"

'Don't tell me, let me guess -- You're looking for the memory school, aren't you?'

'Sorry, that mental note has been deleted.'

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Darling, that memory course I've been doing, can you remember its web address.'

Now...what was I doing

Memory Clinic - Old What's His Name, Director.

'School was awful today, Mom -- I forgot my locker combination and all my passwords!'